Mystery Machine

Thanks Mom, for always making my dreams come true...

(The driver's side door also looks like this, I just ran out of camera battery and can't show you. You'll have to use your imagination.)

MERGE.

Ok, I do realize what a stretch this is going to be. However, you should know it's been a long day. So, I pose a question to everyone from Texas. What do you do when you see a large, neon, orange arrow ahead of you in your lane of traffic? You know what, I can actually answer this question for you:

Texans

A Texan driver will see the large, bright, blinking arrow, acknowledge the fact that it means that the lane you are currently driving in will soon diminish, slow down, turn on their blinker, safely check their blind spot, merge into the lane next to them approximately 200 feet before the lane actually disappears, wave to the kind person who let them into the other lane, and continue on with their day.

South Floridians

A South Floridian driver will see the large, bright, blinking arrow, acknowledge the fact that it means that the lane you are currently driving in will soon diminish, speed up, drive as fast as they can until all of the cars have bottle-necked up at the end of the lane, slam on their brakes, make the "angry-Floridian-driver arm gesture," inch their way closer to the end of the lane, tailgate the person in front of them because, Heaven forbid, someone in the lane next to them actually get two inches ahead of them, wait until the last possible second, cut off the person next to them, *more angry arm gestures,* ending with traffic being back up for miles, simply because South Floridians don't know how to merge.

Can you tell I'm a little bitter this evening? I have mentioned the ridiculousness that is South Florida drivers before. "We ride low and we drive slow..." But it more than the fact that these people have all learned to drive in other countries and then all moved to the same area of the state to fight for who can drive the worst out of the South American countries.

I was sitting in traffic this evening. Unnecessary traffic, I might add. The road I have to take to and from work each day is under constant construction. If, like tonight, I leave work a little bit late, the "nightly closures" have already begun, thus closing down the major highway to one lane so that they can refinish the others. I'm sure that, YEARS after I am gone from South Florida that this will actually be a very decent road, however, right now, it's a pain in my neck. I sat in traffic tonight for about twenty minutes simply because people in South Florida don't know how to merge from two lanes into one. IT'S NOT HARD!

About half way through my raging, I realized I was acting very childish. Tonight in my Bible Study we talked about the prodigal son. The study actually had to do with relationships, but I am reaching here... I kind of had an epiphany right there on the turnpike tonight. I was so pissed off for so long watching these people whiz past me on the road. I was thinking, "I'm doing the right thing. I saw the flashing arrow and I moved over well in advance. YOU PEOPLE are doing the wrong thing. Waiting until the last possible second so that you can get ahead of everyone else. Thus actually holding everyone up so that there are near accidents and angry road raging individuals roaming the streets." I was ready to burst. Giving everyone that I looked down upon (literally looked down upon because I drive a fifteen passenger van with a lift...) a dirty look and a dirty thought to go along with it.

Then I had my thought. My first thought came about because my boss tonight in the Bible Study said something profound. It was actually directed at the youth, but she said, "Why can't we all just get along? Why can't we just be nice to one another?" And then I also recalled my pastor last Sunday talking about this "constant need to love others - even those on I-95." Those two thoughts converged in my head and exploded with one final thought about the prodigal son. I was having a very self-righteous "brother of the prodigal son" moment, thinking I was better than these people because I have been doing the right thing all along. Yes, these people cut me off. Yes these people are stupid and don't know how to drive. (Just kidding...I'm still bitter...) Yes, these people can be rude. A lot of people in this world can be rude. However, God loves them as much, if not more than me. Honestly, that thought changed my attitude. I stopped tailgating the person in front of me to let others in when they finally decided to merge. And, the greatest thing actually happened. The man who I let in, who I had been giving mean looks to and secretly pinching his head off for the last twenty minutes, actually gave me a friendly wave in the rear view mirror. My first friendly wave from a South Florida driver. It only took six months and a change of heart to get there.

Home.

Last weekend I watched my roommate and various other friends participate in a half marathon. The whole time I was watching these people run by (getting rather nauseous trying to find Julie...) I was getting more and more pumped up about running. That high has lasted through this week and has reenergized me on my morning runs. Enabling me to run farther and feel better about my exercise routine. When I run I preform what is known as "the cardinal sin" of runners. I wear head phones. And listen to music. If you are a true race runner, you know this is usually not even allowed at a race because you cannot fully understand what all is going on around you. But, I have to have music to run. Only one of the reasons why I will probably never achieve my goal of marathon running. This morning I turned up the music. Loud enough so that I couldn't hear my thoughts or the cat calls of my latino neighbors but soft enough so I could still hear the passing traffic. (Safety first, that's what I've always said...)

But, this morning on my run, I heard a song I had never heard before. It's by someone who I was just recently introduced to, Marc Scibilia. If you have the chance I fully recommend his album "From Brooklyn to Maine." I have recently been expanding my music collection and opening my mind to new artists and songs. So, when this song first came on my mp3 player, I wasn't sure what it was, however the song, "This World Ain't My Home" totally spoke to me. My whole life I have felt restless. Not able to stay in one location for more than a few years and more recently, not feeling like I have a permanent home. Not necessarily longing for these things of permanency, but often times feeling anxious and in flux. Anxious about where I will be working or living next year. Anxious about what I want to do with my life. Anxious about the tensions in my life of wanting to feel "in the moment" and yet needing to look forward. I think this song says it all. For me, for my anxieties, for my current life of flux. And hopefully, for some of you as well:

"This World Ain't My Home"

by Marc Scibilia

"I've been to Paris, I've been to Rome.

I've seen a little bit of the world that's known,

but it seems no matter where I go,

I know this world, it ain't my home.

I've got keys to a house that's on loan,

I've got keys to a car with rust and chrome.

I've keys to things I'll never own,

'cause I know this world, it ain't my home.

You take me so very close,

but I can't cut down this thought that grows,

that no matter where I rest or roam,

I know this world, it ain't my home.

Sometimes it seems a far off dream,

just in sight but out of reach,

I don't know where to go but I just keep going,

'cause I know this world, it ain't my home.

And I used to treasure jewels like years,

'till these ancient words met my ears.

Now a ruby's just another stone,

'cause I know this world, it ain't my home.

And you take me so very close,

but I can't cut down this thought that grows,

that no matter where I rest or roam,

I know this world, it ain't my home.

Maybe I could try to fall in love again,

find a little house with a picket fence,

but you know, you know that I, I am a travelin' man,

to a distant country and a far off land.

And when my time is used and done,

when I see that final settin' sun,

I'll leave everything I've ever known,

And that house above, it will be my home."

Haiti

By now, I am sure everyone has heard the news about the terrible tragedy that has overcome Port-au-Prince, Haiti. This earthquake has shaken the lives of the people who live there as well as so much of Southern Florida. Miami and surrounding areas like Florida City are so deeply connected culturally to Haiti. Most of the children and youth I work with have relatives in Haiti. Many of them have at least one parent still in Haiti.

After high school tutoring was over last night, Tony and I were driving around in the van dropping all the youth off at their houses. Many of them made remarks like, "I don't want to go home." And while, often times, they make these remarks in a joking manner (mostly to annoy Tony and I so we have to kick them out of the van...), this time we knew it was true for every single one of them. One girl said she didn't want to go home because she just couldn't take the crying anymore. She said her mom hasn't stopped crying since the news hit Florida. The hardest part about all of this sadness is that no one knows anything. Haiti is in a complete and total state of shock. Rescue crews don't even know where to begin. No communication comes in or out of the country, and therefore, so many of our families are in a similar and constant state of shock. It is the unknown that haunts so many of our youth and families at this point.

My roommates and I sat around a few nights ago praying, talking, and attempting to make any sense of the tragedy. The thing that we have come to realize at this point is there's not a whole lot we can personally do other than give to organizations that CAN do something. Some of the churches around the area are collecting clothes and material things. Which is good, and I do not want to discourage anyone from doing so, however, what the Haitian people need right now is emergency supplies. They need food, water, and medical care. So, if you are like us and do not know where to begin, but want to donate to legitimate organization that you know will be doing good, here's a list of some of the organizations sent out via email by South Florida Urban Ministries. I know there are tons more as well, I was just hoping to give people a starting point.

United Way is newly partnered with South Florida Urban Ministries and Branches. We received an email yesterday with this link letting us know they are doing all they can to help those in Haiti as well as those in South Florida who have relatives in Haiti.

If you haven't heard, the U.S. Department of State has made a fund that you can drop money in via your cell phone. U.S. Secretary of State Hilary Clinton was quoted this morning as saying that this fund already has $3 million in it going to the Red Cross for Haitian relief aid. Just text "Haiti" to 90999 and a donation of $10 will be made and billed to your next cell phone bill.

Mercy Corps is currently accepting donations.

Partners in Health is already on the ground and running operations in Haiti.

Yèle Haiti was established by Wyclef Jean and is also already on the ground in Haiti. You can text donations to this organization as well by texting "yele" to 501501. This will donate $5 to the Haitian relief fund.

The Mennonite Central Committee has been in Haiti since 1958 and is currently planning efforts.

The United Methodist Committee on Relief also has a long history of working in Haiti and is now leading earthquake relief. You can donate to UMCOR and 100% of your donations go directly to helping the victims.

I also got word that the Presbyterian Disaster Assistance is setting up funds. You can donate to PDA by directing your money to account number DR000064 within the Presbyterian Church.

I hope that some of these links will help. I'm afraid, at this point, that all we can do is pray. Pray for the families affected so terribly. Pray for the Haitians. Pray for the Florida City Community. Pray for South Florida. Pray for the Haitian government.

Just keep those prayers coming in.

Miss Understood

These are a few conversations that I have had with my youth over the past few months. Unfortunately these are direct quotes. Enjoy reading what I get to listen to on a daily basis. Welcome to my life.

Marcknal: "Miss, why does your hair look like that?"

Me: "Like what?"

Marcknal: "Like, all....yellow."

Me: "I think I was born with 'yellow' hair."

Marcknal: "What? That's impossible. It looks fake."

Me: "Well, thank you. But, what color hair were you born with?"

Marcknal: "I wasn't born with hair!"

Jasmine: "Miss, do you have a man?"

Me: "No."

Jasmine: "Oh, that's because you're fat and ugly."

Me: "Thank you for your honesty. And for reinforcing my junior high insecurities."

Valerry: "Miss, what are you?"

Me: "What do you mean?"

Valerry: "Like, are you Haitian, Cuban, Salvadoran? What are you?"

Me: "I'm Texan."

Valerry: "GurlBeFo'Real."

Me: "I smell like a campfire!"

Yamilet: "Miss, that is NOT what you smell like."

Me: "Then what do I smell like?"

Yamilet: "Something BAD."

Tiger: "Miss, where you from?"

Me: "Texas."

Tiger: "What's that?"

Kevelyn: "Miss, aren't you from China? Do you eat pandas there?"

Me: "I don't know, I'm from Korea. We eat rice."

Kevelyn: "Ohhhh."

(And yes...I have given up on attempting to fight the fact that my kids think I look Chinese.)

Alait: "Miss, were you with your girlfriend on New Year's Eve?"

Me: "Yes, I was with my girlfriends on New Year's."

Alait: "WHAT?! You're a lesbian??"

Me: "What? No...you call your friends girlfriends."

Alait: "Who calls their friends girlfriends?"

Me: "Lots of people." (Thinking that I should insert "My grandmother, for example...")

Alait: "Like girls who date other girls?"

Me: "Nevermind."

Stephanie: "Miss, THAT'S your car?"

Me: "Yes. Do you like it?"

Stephanie: "No. Does it actually make it here from Miami??"

Me: "What?! It's a good car! And I'm standing here, aren't I? So I must have made it from Miami?"

Stephanie: "Is it going to make it back to Miami?"

Me: "I don't know..."

Brunia: "Miss, how many people do you live with?"

Me: "Four."

Brunia: "Oh. Five girls in a house must suck."

Me: "No, two of them are boys."

Brunia: "Isn't it a sin to live with a boy before you are married?"

Me: "Well, I'm not dating both of them!"

Brunia: "Oh, so which one ARE you dating?"


Mike: "Miss, you eas'in' me?!"
Me: "No..."
Mike: "Yes you is."
Me: "Yeah...I don't actually know what that means."

You truly have to admire kids. For their blunt honesty if nothing else...