Learning to Deal.

Sometimes it's really difficult for me to enter back into the “real world.” I spend my days (and sometimes nights) working for a cause that I believe in. I sometimes spend almost 24/7 working for and living in community with these children and youth that might not have opportunities in life otherwise. People continuously tell me that I work too hard and need to slow down. However, as I see it, I only have a limited about of time on this earth and I'm going to spend every second that I can giving all that I can to the cause that I believe in most. Unfortunately, this also means that I get a little too wrapped up in life in Florida City. Whenever I leave and go home or even go to visit friends in other places, I realize that's not the reality for anyone else. They don't live in community with others. They don't share all they have and fight and love and live with their coworkers and the kids they serve. (And, believe me, I'm not trying to be on a soap box here – most of the time I don't do any of this well.) However, when I do leave the FLC and go to other people's houses, I'm much more conscious about how they spend their money. Not that what they do is wrong, it's just drastically different from my reality. I am constantly surrounded by people who are working in the Florida heat picking okra or tomatoes just to make a few dollars so they can put food on their tables for their children. I can't be surrounded by that extreme poverty and be irresponsible with my money. I can no longer pour money into meaningless things like pedicures, high end vacuum cleaners, Kindles, or shoes that I may or may not wear more than once. (Not to say that I don't pour my money into other useless things like Itunes music, plane tickets, and the oh-so-necessary Starbucks.) However, every time I enter the “real world,” so to speak, I have to learn and re-learn how to deal with these issues. I can't look down at everyone else and pretend like I have it all figured out and that other people aren't using their money responsibly. However, I also can't condone spending money the way I see some people spending it. I don't think that one way is right and the other is wrong, but it's been a very hard thing for me to deal with the past few months. It's a daily struggle to see the ways that this job has changed my life and to try to deal with my past.