Church Shopping

I am torn. For the past two Sundays I have attended a service at Coral Gables Congregation Church. It is a United Church of Christ church in a very affluent part of the city. We worshiped there last week as a community and then decided to go back this week for "green" Sunday because you could supposedly take your old light bulbs and exchange them for energy efficient ones. We were all encouraged to either car pool to the service or ride our bikes. Therefore, we all four (JJ has his own church and is not involved in our "shopping" trips) piled into Erin's tiny car, including all 6'8'' of Isaac, and went over to CGCC. We walked in the door and were handed a bulletin with a giant print out of the senior pastor. I took the bulletin and thought it was weird because it was supposed to be a paperless Sunday. When the senior pastor walked in, everyone got on their feet and gave a standing ovation for her. It soon became apparent that the light bulbs were not the focus of the ceremony. Apparently, we had just walked into a surprise ordination anniversary ceremony. Laurinda, the senior pastor, had been ordained thirty years ago today and her entire family and many friends from seminary showed up to give kind words. This was a really strange service to be a visitor at. It was an oddly intimate service to witness, especially from an outsiders point of view. Even the secretary of health showed up to wish Laurinda well. (Bill Clinton's secretary of health...) Regardless of it starting out as a really awkward situation, I couldn't help smiling when I heard all these kind words spoken about this person I didn't actually know or have any kind of relationships with. I love this congregation. I feel at home there. It feels safe and comfortable. I love the words Laurinda has to say and feel a very closeness to her already. It might be the fact that she has a love for Abba maybe even greater than mine. Or it might be that she is so warm and welcoming. Or it might be that she wishes for everyone in the community to challenge themselves to be accepting to anyone and everyone in the world. Whatever it is, I feel the desire to worship in this community. However, I feel as though I shouldn't want to worship there. It is the first church I have ever visited in Miami. Also, it is in a very affluent part of the city. After visiting for the first time, I turned to my roommates and said, "oh, this is where all the white people in Miami are." Laurinda tries to get her congregation to give as much as possible. In fact, for her ordination, the church set up a fund to give money to a charity in Haiti. However, it is only because they are truly able to give. I feel as though I should be worshiping in a community where I am not comfortable. Where I can truly challenge my faith and my comfort zone. I should want to worship with the people I am serving. I talked for a long time with my friend Alicia about it all. She is an administrator at the Yvonne Learning Center where Isaac works and she worships at CGCC. She struggles with this same issue week after week. The way she put it, she goes to church there in order to be filled. She spends the rest of the week: five, sometimes six days, living in a world where she challenges herself and leaves her comfort zone. Therefore, do I leave my comfort zone in order to stretch my faith, or do I take Sundays as the day to recharge my faith and fill myself spiritually?

All That I Know is Keep Breathing

What do you do with the difficulties of life?

What do you do with a young girl who knows she can make more money standing on a street corner than sitting behind a desk?

How do you teach a child to "honor their father and mother" when their parents are the ones telling them they are worthless?

How do you tell someone to stay in school when their family tries to convince them daily to quit so they can make money?

What do you do with a kid who's entire life has been inundated with fight? How can you teach peace when the people who are supposed to love them the most are the ones hurting them?

What do you do with kids who care more about the touch-down dance than the touch down?

How do you show enough love to the child who has eleven brothers and sisters and who's parents work four jobs to provide for them?

What do you do with a boy who is sixteen and still in seventh grade?

What do you do with kids who spend hours perfecting Michael Jackson's dance moves instead of finishing their school work?

What do you say to a young boy who doesn't worry about his school work because he knows he can always go sell drugs for a living?

How do you show kids what is right when all they see in their lives is wrong?

Prayer for Today

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
when there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying [to ourselves] that we are born to eternal life.

Just to Clarify

An actual conversation:

Marcknal: "Miss, you look Chinese with your glasses."

Tiger: "Wait, miss, you're NOT Chinese?"

5 minutes later...

Me: "Ashley, Marcknal just asked me if I was Chinese."

Ashley: "Oh, a bunch of elementary kids asked me that the other day. You're not Chinese, right?"

First of all, I wish I had made those names up. Sadly, they are real. And sadly, these conversations are real. Do I look Chinese to anyone else?? My boss said she thinks maybe they have never met anyone of Asian descent. Regardless, this is what my day revolved around today. Me, attempting to convince everyone at work that I am not actually of Chinese origin.

Daily life in Miami

Many people have been asking me, "just what are you doing down there?!" So, I realized I haven't taken a lot of time to explain things. I am what is known as a Young Adult Volunteer through the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). Which means, I have chosen a location to serve for the next year: Miami. Part of the stipulation of being a YAV is that you live in intentional Christian community with one another. So, I live in a house with four other volunteers (see posting below for photos).

I live with two other girls and two boys from all over the nation and ranging in age from 22-25.

Julie is from North Carolina and was the first person I ever met when I moved in. She is also working with Branches, however she works for the South Miami location. We are exact opposites. Not really, there is a lot we have in common, but our "likes" as far as movies, leisure activities, and food are completely different. It has become a joke between the two of us that if I like something, I know she will not, and vice versa. However, we do both enjoy using terrible British accents from time to time. (No jokes from the family, please...)

Erin is the social justice worker from Iowa. She has spent one year (well, really only 3/4 of a year because of sickness) in the Philippines being a YAV in 2006-2007 and a year working for social justice in Iowa. She will be working with migrant farm workers at South Florida Interfaith Worker Justice. We enjoy gardening and practicing our horrible Spanish together! The backyard is kind of our pride and joy.

JJ or Hota Hota as we call him in our Spanish class, is the quiet yet cunning one of the group. He is from Maryland and has been working in Miami for a year already at Latin American Missions. You never quite know what JJ is thinking, but the things that come out of his mouth will make you laugh so hard. He also has the hilarious way of cracking himself up so easily that his leg will start stomping. Quite entertaining. Plus he has a very funny, noticeable laugh. It's a good thing!

Isaac is me in male form. We have taken to calling each other "twin" from time to time because it is a bit ridiculous just how similar we are. He is still in school at Goshen College in Indiana but is from Kansas. He is only going to be here for a semester and is working at the Yvonne Learning Center, a Haitian school in North Miami. He is an art major and is 6'8", which actually seems to generate more conversation than anything else in his life.

So, these four roommates and myself all live in a house together in intentional Christian community. Which basically means, we have to figure out a covenant that respects all of our wants and needs as well as figure out budgeting and daily chores and all the other daily junk that goes into living in a house with five people. However, it is all done in a loving, Christian manner and disputes are dealt with even more so in this fashion. It's a fantastic support group and friend circle to be able to come home to. Every evening we gather and take prayer requests and pray about our day and the days to come. We read books together that discuss topics like community living, poverty, injustice, etc. and discuss the topics openly with one another to generate conversation.

Then, during the week, I work down in Florida City with my organization, Branches. All the other housemates have their work to go to as well. It's an interesting living situation, because even though we don't work together,we all know the issues we are dealing with on a daily basis. We may be doing completely different jobs, but they all in some form or another, deal with immigration, poverty, race, and social injustice. These common themes seem to surround the Miami area constantly and it is so important to have this support group who can identify with what we are all going though so that we don't get bogged down and discouraged as it is so easy to do. The injustice that happens daily in Miami and South Florida would shock some. It's a frustrating world we live in.

The Happiest Place on Earth!

Last weekend, I got a chance to participate in what is known as "Night of Joy." It is an incredible Christian event put on by none other than...DISNEY WORLD!! We took 42 middle school and high school youth up to Orlando on Friday night, spent the night in a church up there, and then headed on to Disney early Saturday morning. We just went to Magic Kingdom for most of the day, which if you know anything about Disney World was only a small portion of what you could have done inside the park. (Although they really get your money there because every park you go into, you have to pay the full price, it's not like Schlitterbahn where you buy one ticket and go to all the parks...) Anyways, I was more than thankful to get to spend a day in Disney because instead of paying for it, I got paid! The kids have to pay to go to night of Joy, however, the ticket prices are significantly reduced, and most meals are paid for, so it's an incredible deal for these kids to get to see something that is so physically close to them and yet so far out of reach of their normal lives.

I was assigned to look after six middle school and high school girls. So, you can only imagine the drama that ensued when one of them wouldn't want to do what the rest of them wanted. We got to the park around 8 and walked around and rode rides until 3:30. That gave us the chance to ride every ride in Magic Kingdom at least once. It was raining all morning, which ended up being a blessing, because 1) this little white girl didn't get sunburned, (although I had to explain to my youth why I was putting on sunscreen when it was raining outside...let's be honest, I get sunburnt at night...) and because 2) nobody else is crazy enough to be walking around Disney in the rain, so that meant little to no lines on all the rides! By 3:30, the girls were tired, the sun had come out so they were complaining about it being hot and muggy, and I was ready to leave. However, that was only the beginning of the day! Night of Joy actually happens at night. (Makes sense, right?) So, at 3:30, we made our way over to Hollywood Studios to hang out a little bit before the Joy really began. We got to ride the rides there, however, Hollywood Studios is much more about the Hollywood aspect and less about the rides, so there was really only two/three rides available. We rode both the Rockin' Roller Coaster (Aerosmith's ride. I had to explain to my youth who Aerosmith was... A direct quote: "I know Aeropostal, but no AeroSMITH.") and the Tower of Terror, which the youth literally had to drag me on and I have never felt more scared in my entire life. I walked off the ride still shaking. Don't ever ride it. However, since those were the two big rides in the park and everyone was at this one park for Night of Joy, you easily had to wait one to two hours before even getting on the ride. Worth it? Maybe. The girls thought it was. Around 7 was when the Night of Joy actually got started. It's big name Christian artists putting on free concerts from all areas of the park. There were three stages going on at the same time and the concerts ranged from 30 minutes to one hour and lasted until 1 AM. We watched MercyMe, Jars of Clay, and Mandisa, who was on American Idol in 2006. The concerts were fantastic, although I might have gotten more out of the whole night than the youth. It was frustrating to me to hear the youth whine and complain because this was such a gift that they were supposed to be able to enjoy. I'm pretty sure I used the line "This is the happiest place on Earth, therefore, we WILL be happy."

It was an interesting trip. I was able to form bonds with many of the youth in an outside Branches setting, which was probably the best part of the trip. The kids had a blast and were able to participate in something that was out of the ordinary for them. They were surrounded by Christians all weekend long, rather than their friends and families that often act less than Christian, to say the least. However, it was exhausting and frustrating a lot of the time as well. We got back on the bus around midnight and drove back to Branches arriving around 4:30 AM. Then I got to drive back to Miami, putting me in bed around 6 AM, only to have to wake up a few hours later to host one of the most amazing barbeques of all time for the National Director of D.O.O.R. and many of our new friends. I am still recovering from last weekend. However, at the same time, I really felt like I was where I needed to be. These kids need to see that there is a different life available to them. They need to feel loved and appreciated and to get out of the house and have fun from time to time. That is what the true joy of the night was.

Photos!

So, this weekend, we had a barbeque. More blog posts to come about that later. But...because the house and yard was really REALLY clean and because Isaac spent six hours mowing the lawn, I thought I would post photos now, so you all can get a better idea of how the house I live in looks!

**Disclaimer: the house does not always look this good/clean. If you come to visit me, don't expect this. :)

This is my bedroom. Also called the "Florida Room" in most houses in Florida. It is a room off the back of the house, mostly windows, and a door that leads out to the backyard. I'm not sure what else this room would be used for, but everyone's got one! It's a little boring right now, because it's white-ish, but I am painting

it turquoise on Thursday!!!

Other side of the room with my "closet" - only downside to living in the Florida Room. The white door in the corner leads to the Party Patio and the other door leads into the living room.

Wall of photos - or rather, wall of babies!!! I have to brag on my cousins somehow...

Living room. Complete with Isaac working on his computer and Erin sleeping. Can you tell these are pre-party photos? The fireplace to the left of Isaac (the weird white pillar-like thing) has possibly the ugliest fake logs inside ever.

Cute dining room which is fun to sit in and drink coffee and read the paper in the early mornings. Or, actually around noon time... Also fun for community dinner nights!

TINY kitchen. My only grievance for this house. However, it helps to have the dining room. Actually, the small size AND the fact that someone in the fifties thought every kitchen and bathroom needed pink tiles are my grievances. The only two houses I have ever lived in have had pink tile. What's the deal??

The Party Patio! This is right outside of my room, in the back of the house. I have a big love/hate relationship with this patio. When we arrived, the entire patio and yard was so over grown with weeds, you couldn't even walk down the steps. We have since weeded every square inch, mowed the lawn, and planted lots of fun flowers and plants. Once we find the Christmas lights, they will also be added. And then, the party patio shall be complete.

To the right of the table, there is a patch of dirt that has been used as a compost pile for the last year or so, but was so overgrown, it could not be used for anything else. Since then, we have weeded and tiled the area and are hoping to start our garden soon. Here in Miami, gardens that are planted in the late fall tend to do the best. We are going to test out that theory. To the left of this picture is a long strip of dirt that we have already turned into our herb garden, complete with thyme, basil, and something else that I have never heard of...

The outside of the front of the house!!! Photo complete with Godzilla in the grass. Godzilla is the house van which Isaac drives around town because it's the only community car that he can fit in. It's official intended purpose was to use with youth groups and other groups who participate in the D.O.O.R. program and need a way to get around Miami. The giant silver shutters on the windows are actually called "hurricane shutters" and can be removed, if wanted. However, it's easier to keep them on until a hurricane comes. They lay flat against the windows and prevent you from having to board them over.

I kind of think this photo makes our house look like a trailer. However, it is a real house. Just real old. And real blue.

Hope you enjoyed the virtual tour. Come to Miami and see the real thing someday!!! :)

*By the way, Isaac did NOT spend six hours on the yard.

Rather, the girls in house did.

Don't bring me bad news.

There are days, like yesterday, when I go to work and realize I am truly there for a purpose. Then, there are days like today where I sit back and think "Why am I here?" "Am I even making a difference?" I, already within a week, have formed such strong bonds with each and every youth member at Branches. I have heard many of their personal stories and backgrounds and have become invested in this community and in these kids. So, when one of them makes poor choices, it disappoints me.

I had to kick a kid out of tutoring today. Actually, I gave him the choice of staying at Branches and actually doing work or leaving. He chose to leave. He chose to leave the support system we have set up to better his life and future. This student, who we will call JJ, (because I think it's funny to give out fake names that happen to be the real names of my roommates...) is in the seventh grade. He also happens to be fifteen. Almost legal to drive and still in middle school. He was also the first person at Branches to know my name, take an interest in me, and actually greet me with a smile each and everyday. Which made his decision making process all the more disappointing and hard to take.

My supervisor Tony had already talked to him twice today before he was assigned to my tutoring table. He spent the entire time testing the boundaries and while I attempted to be nice, he was disruptive and disrespectful to all. He told me he didn't have any homework and when I asked why not he told me it was because he had skipped school. In fact, in the two weeks that he has been back in school, he has already missed four days. I think the most heartbreaking part of it all was to see how bright he was. JJ knows math like no one else that I have seen at Branches. While I have spent the past two weeks teaching students his age and older long division on paper, JJ can do any of the problems in his head. He enjoys reading when he can force himself to be still enough to focus and he is very good at history as well. So, why is it that he is two to three grade levels behind?

After JJ left Branches I saw him walking with two other boys who do not attend Branches. Instead, these boys stand across the road and cat-call the girls as they walk in and out throughout the afternoon. The girls all have stories to tell about these boys and how they are not the type of boys you want to hang out with. So, why, would someone as bright as JJ choose these hooligans over his Branches family? Why would he willing throw his future away because he is behind in school?

I hate seeing people make bad decisions. It's often like watching a train wreck. I just can't take my eyes off of it and yet I don't want to look. My boss Kim seemed unfazed by the situation. She looked at me sincerely and said, "kids make bad choices." Kim started the Branches program fifteen years ago when she was my age. She has probably witnessed more in this time than most people want to see in a lifetime. She realizes that we can't reach them all. She realizes the depressing, heartbreaking, honest truth. Branches is an incredible organization. However, kids make bad choices. And I wish it were as simple as that...

Florida City Speak

So, I learned in my first week of work that although Florida City is a part of the United States, I still feel like much of it is foreign to me. Besides not knowing my way around town and spending most of my hour long breaks trying to find my way back to work, things that should be simple, like language and culture are completely alien to a white girl from Texas. The very first thing I noticed from day one, even just speaking with the staff is the language. Florida is unique in that only one out of twelve considers themselves Caucasian. I live next door to little Havana, so most of the people in the area speak Cuban. However, most of the other influences come from Haiti, El Salvador, Mexico, and lots of other South American countries. Almost everyone in Florida City is either Haitian or South American. A vast majority of our kids are multilingual and many of their parents don't speak English as their first language, or at all. However, in Florida City, there is yet another language spoken. It's called Florida City Speak. Or, at least, that's what we call it. Here's a little taste of the words and sentences I hear on a daily basis:

"Acts" - This word is spoken instead of "asked," as in: "I just acts Mrs. Kim if I could leave."

"Miss" - Refers to anyone in charge. Mostly heard in a whining tone: "Miss, I didn't do it."

"Is" - Used in all times and places instead of any other tenses. "You is from Texas, Miss?"

"It is" - Always used in this order. "What time it is?" "Who it is?"

"Screet" - Despite the fact that I always think this word sounds dirty, it is actually referring to the STREET. "No, I is walking down that screet."

"Mines" - Refers to anything possessive. "That book is mines!"

"I don't have no..." - The act of having nothing. "Miss, I don't have no homework."

"Kim House" - (Or anyone's name...) Leaving off the "s" in most words is common. "No, I is at Kim House."

"Cakeing" - This word refers to when two people stay up late talking on the phone. "Naomi's been cakeing with some boy!" (Sounds a lot dirtier than it actually is...)

"Dapping" - If you don't want to hold someone's hand you can "dap." Which means put your fists on top of the person's next to you. We do this when we pray as a group, my boss Tony will yell "Dap it up!" and we will all touch fists.

"Rank" - This means to put someone down. "At Branches, we don't rank on one another."

Now, I realize you can find a lot of these common mistakes all over America, however, a few of them are very unique to Florida City and I had never heard of them until I moved here. I have been told to correct the children and youth repeatedly, but that is how they talk in their homes and on the streets, so it is very hard to get them to correct the problem. It is a very interesting world down here. Although I am fully aware of the fact that I am still in America, often times life seems more exotic here than it ever did in Italy. It truly is "a whole other world" in Florida City and Miami.

Revision

Correction: Isaac is 6'8'' and not "lanky."

Maggie

Maggie is our neighbor. Although, I still have no idea where she actually lives. Regardless of the fact that she describes her house to me everyday, "It's the pink house with the hurricane shutters." I nod and smile, while in reality, I am thinking, "You just described every house within the next eight blocks!" She is an older woman, maybe in her sixties, and everyday I have seen her (which is everyday I have lived in Miami) she has been wearing the same clothes. She stops by our house every evening and asks to use our phone. We kindly smile and let her in, let her use the phone, give her water and a place to sit. And a place to vent, apparently. Maggie is a woman of many words. There is always something interesting going on in her life and she is not one to hold back any emotions or stories or excuses.

We enjoy our chats with Maggie. However, what started out as a friendly neighborly gesture has turned into something more. Because she knows she can trust us and because we "are so nice and friendly," she keeps coming over. Sometimes only for a few minutes, sometimes for hours. It's hard and uncomfortable for us to ask her to leave because we have this desire to be hospitable to everyone who enters "the mission house," as it is known and commonly called. It's part of the reason we live in the neighborhood that we do. We throw neighborhood barbeques and block parties as a way to get to know our neighbors and as a way to be fully present in the community.

Maggie has recently told us she is moving, and therefore packing up most of her belongings. Everyday she will stop by with something else of hers that she thinks we will want. And while this seems like a very neighborly gesture, she doesn't actually want to give us these items...she wants to sell them to us. So, we bought her DVD player for $20 a few days ago. Then, the next day, when she tried to sell Isaac her husband's wool suits, we had to tell her no, because, big surprise, they didn't fit the 6'7'' lanky, white boy. Plus, wool suits in Florida?! But, we quickly learned that these gestures were more about just getting rid of her stuff. She actually needs the money, considering she said, "Oh, sorry the suits don't fit, can I have $20 anyways? My husband's sick." And the next day when she came over she needed a ride to her new house to talk to the landlord and then asked for more money. The entire house is very torn about what to do about Maggie. We obviously value her presence, but now we get worried when we see her come up to the front door or when we hear her knock because we are unsure of how to approach the money situation. On the one hand, here is someone who is obvious need. On the other hand, we are not making enough money to be giving her $20 everyday. However, it is our responsibility to take care of our neighbors and be kind and generous. On the other hand, she is taking advantage of the fact that five young, caring people live down the street and don't have the heart to say no. Jesus calls us to love our neighbors and help in every way possible. Maggie's background is a very complex and complicated one. She is a person that needs all the love and support and help she can get. However, monetary services are not ways in which we are strongest right now. On the other hand, we are all white, educated, middle income kids from "the center" who theoretically could have alot to offer and share with Maggie.

It is a never ending circle of confusion and prayer and questions. What do we do in a world full of Maggies??