Friday, March 26, 2010

Oasis 2010

I leave today for Oasis, which is a four day retreat put on for our youth, as well as youth in the greater Miami area. Branches Florida City started this conference years ago and it has only grown infinitely since that first year. This year's theme is "Tight'n Up." We will be talking about the ways in which we can tighten up our lives and our relationship with Christ. I couldn't be more excited! From what I have heard about this conference it is usually a life changing step for a lot of our youth. When asked about Oasis, one of our kids told me, "Miss, you will LOVE it. I think it's what Heaven is going to be like."

I would ask that you all keep our youth and adults in your prayers these next few days. Pray that our youth will have experiences that they will remember for a long time and that our adults will have the energy to truly provide a worth while experience for our kids.

P.S. This is the logo I got to design for the conference!!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Decisions

I can handle it when kids make bad decisions. After all, their brains are not fully developed. It's not their fault they act stupid. However, when parents make bad decisions, I have a hard time letting it go. Today, one of our middle school girls was pulled from our program. Her mother decided she needed to go live with her grandmother because Florida City was not having a good influence on her.

This particular girl was the one middle school girl I truly felt a connection with. She was new to Branches: she had only started coming right before Christmas, but she formed a very tight bond with me very quickly. If she had a problem, she asked for me right away and always trusted me with her secrets - including the issues she had with her mother. She was a good student. She tried hard. She actually did her homework and asked for help if she needed it. She had just gotten accepted to a really good private high school in the area that specialized in nursing - her career of choice. She was someone that we all had really high hopes for. Only there was one issue: her mother.

Now that I am a "grown up," (for all intensive purposes...) I often find myself siding with parents more in situations and telling the youth that "They really need to listen to their parents more. After all, they know what's best for you." A sentence that probably would have never come out of my mouth four years ago. However, in this situation, I cannot even find a way to reason with her mother. This particular girl came to me a couple of months ago asking for advice for how to deal with her mother. I told her that even if they didn't get along that she still needed to respect her mother and the decisions that had been made. I don't necessarily think that was bad advice at this point, however, I now realize why she even came to me with a question like that. It was because what this young girl was going through was not a case of "angry teenager vs. Mom." What she was going through was a little more of "certifiably crazy Mom vs. seemingly rational middle school girl." Not your typical, everyday teenaged girl issues. Although, at this point, I think I should probably expect things like this to come out of Florida City.

Her mom stormed into Branches today to tell us that she was pulling her daughter out of our program and shipping her off to live with her grandmother. Her middle school daughter had not let her search through her book bag. When her mother took the bag by force she found inside a notebook. Some of the notebook's contents were notes, but there were a few doodles. These doodles showed that her daughter had a crush on a boy. And her daughter - her fourteen year old daughter - had not told her about it and lied about him. I think her mom kept raging and probably gave more reasons for why she was being pulled out of Branches, but I left and went out to the car to talk to my favorite middle school girl for seemingly the last time. Her equally as crazy little brother was saying very rude things about her from the backseat as she just sat in the front seat, tears rolling down her face, asking over and over again what had she done wrong?

It broke my heart. I truly felt awful. I felt helpless and feared for this young girl who had actually done everything right in her life and yet still ended up on the wrong side of things. These kids have every disadvantage stacked against them. Even when you think you find the ones who will live above the influences and make the right choices in life, other things, uncontrollable forces, step in. The only good I can see in this is that maybe this move will get her away from her crazy mother and her mother's horrible boyfriend. However, it also takes her away from "the one place where she felt welcomed and loved."

Life is unfair.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Mess

Yesterday, the second grade girl that I tutor who is a total MESS, told me I look like I "forgot to brush my hair."

Maybe I should rethink my current style.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Confirmation

This past weekend, we took seven of our youth up to Warren W. Willis camp and retreat center in Leesburg, FL, which is just north of Orlando. We traveled up there for Confirmation Camp. Audrey Warren, my new best friend, and pastor at Branches United Methodist Mission, (the church that houses and runs the afterschool program I am working for) was the key note speaker for the weekend. It was a retreat designed for students, mostly middle school students, who are going through confirmation with their church. There were about 12 other churches there, mostly from Ft. Lauderdale and further north. There were no other churches there from Miami, and certainly no others from further south. We were the only church down south who were crazy enough to make the five hour drive up north. Since we were so far “north,” the weather changed. Our kids were completely unprepared for the cold that awaited us in Leesburg and most of them only showed up with flip flops. Although, to be fair, I think more than anything that most of our kids actually only own flip flops.

I learned a lot about our youth this past weekend. Five hours in a car will do that to any group of people. However, I learned more about their lives and their Florida City culture. I learned mostly by listening. Not by listening to the ridiculous stories they told, or to their complaints, or to their conversations with one another. I learned so much more about their lives by listening to their questions.

Question #1: “Miss, where's all the black people at?”

I mentioned that most of the churches were from north of Miami. Besides being churches that are north of Miami, most of the churches were from smaller rural towns. Therefore, there was an obvious lack of diversity that I don't think I would have ever noticed before. We stuck out like a sore thumb, that's for sure! Seven loud, crazy, Haitian and Latino children with their three white adult sponsors. Honestly though, before moving to South Florida and becoming the minority, I had never noticed that it is weird to go to a church conference and be in a room full of hundreds of white people.

Question #2: “Miss, can't we lock our room? What are we going to do with our stuff? You know how people steal...”

There's something I had never thought about. Or never HAD to think about. Stealing? At a church conference? Who would do such a thing? But honestly, that's all these kids know. I have been told quite a few times not to leave my computer out during the day in the space where I work. I have been told that if I am not in the room with my computer that I should have it locked in the closet. Which has now just become habit for me, but was very hard to get used. (Thank goodness for helpful coworkers.) Over Christmas break our children and youth raised enough money at Branches to buy a goat from Habitat for Humanity. We had a giant bucket sitting on the table with these children's hard earned money in it. One day it was there, and a few hours later, it was gone. Our children and youth and staff had been in and out of that building all day long. And yet, somehow, it managed to disappear, right under our noses. My boss could do nothing but laugh and make light of the situation. This is just to be added to the long list of things that have been stolen from Branches. I think having been raised in a community where people don't even lock their front doors, hearing and witnessing and coming to terms with the fact that this is reality and where I came from is an anomaly, is something that takes getting used to.

Question #3: “Wait, we eat like this for THREE meals a day?!”

These kids don't get the kind of nutrition they need. That was something that was taught to me early on in my stay here. I tried one of the first months that I was here to teach a nutrition course, only to have it fall apart at the seams when I came to the understanding that these kids don't have access to the right kinds of foods, so telling them that they should be eating vegetables and whole grains is kind of just mean. Unfortunately, in our culture, it is more affordable to buy your child a hamburger than it is to purchase them a fruit or vegetable. Why is this? Why do my kids eat things like hot cheetos for dinner? I have never seen kids eat so much in my life. Even the middle school girls. I looked around at the tables surrounding us at meal times, noticing the middle school girls from the other groups dump full plates of food into the trash because they were watching their weight and didn't “need” the complex carbohydrates. Meanwhile, our girls are going back for seconds and thirds and hiding food in their pockets. I guess sometimes we don't realize how good we have it.

The last thing that happened this weekend was the most interesting of all. We got there kind of late, considering we drove the furthest, so we had to wait to move our stuff into our cabins after everyone else. It turns out there were not enough beds all in the same area. Our kids were nervous about sleeping in a room without adults that they knew, so Audrey and I were prepared to pull mattresses on the floor and let them have the beds. Instead, our kids decided to “double bunk.” Two girls slept in one single, twin bunk bed. Granted, we have skinny middle school girls. But still. When I had friends over in middle school there's no way we would have slept in one twin bed together. That's the purpose of bunk beds. However, it became very apparent the next night, when we were able to sort through the bed dilemma, that most of these girls had never had a twin bed all to themselves. They have been double bunking their entire lives. That is all they knew. And for all I know, they may have even had to sleep with more than two people in a single bed.

It truly is amazing the things I have taken for granted my entire life. I am thankful for an exhausting weekend. I am thankful for the fun, for the laughter, and most of all I am thankful for the learning.