Raspas and Rewards

Fridays at Branches are always fun. And quite a bit stressful. Most of the teachers give the kids a break with the homework since they are headed into a weekend, so there's very little tutoring that actually takes place. My schedule is worked out so that on Fridays, since there is no middle or high school tutoring, I get to help out with the forth graders. This has to be one of my favorite grades of all time. I have nine forth graders that I get to hang out with on Fridays and they are nine of the most amazing kids I know. They were the first group to learn my name once I got down here and even on all the other days of the week when I don't work with them, they run up to me and give me the biggest hugs.

Besides getting a break from my argumentative, punky middle school boys, Fridays are fun because after the elementary students are picked up from school (meaning all the kids up to fifth grade), the staff takes them to go get "Raspas." A raspa is the equivalent, in my mind, of a snow cone. There is a little old man, who looks like he has leather for skin and only speaks Cuban, who sits on the corner down the street from Branches every day, all day, out in the hot sun, selling raspas out of a cooler attached to a bicycle. I like to think that Fridays are his favorite days too. We drive up with a fifteen passenger van full of screaming elementary kids and buy thirty or forty raspas from this man. I have never seen him work harder. Or smile more. He knows on Fridays to make sure he has extra "pink" flavor. The first Friday I was working at Branches, I got a phone call asking what flavor of raspa I wanted. Since I had no clue what was going on or what a raspa was, I told them to surprise me. (My favorite answer to a lot of questions.) I received a bubble pink, milky-looking snow-cone-like icy drink and was pleasantly surprised. Fredy, my coworker, told me he got me the "pink" flavored raspa, a local favorite. I later found out the flavor is called "fresas con leche," or strawberry milk flavored. Regardless, they are good! Probably not sanitary, but GOOD!

Fridays are also fun for the elementary students because of the Branches Rewards Club. This is something that I watch every week with fascination. Everyday, the kids get tickets based on their behavior. If they are bad they get tickets taken away, if they are good, they receive extra tickets. If they do something without having to be asked, like say something nice to someone or pick up trash from outside, they can earn even more tickets. They are taught the difference between spending and saving and the importance of saving, since some big items require that they receive a lot of tickets. I feel that this system is just genius. Not only do the kids really love getting rewarded, but it is a fantastic discipline tool to be able to "take tickets away," rather than having to yell or discipline kids in other ways. What fascinates me about rewards club is the prizes. There are your average "kid prizes" like candy and junk food (spicy hot Cheetos being a popular choice...GROSS.) But, the big ticket items, the items the kids are always trying to save up for and coveting from one another when one child finally gets enough tickets, are school supplies. Of all the things a child could want in this world: stuffed animals, action figures, candy, toys, electronics, etc. The things these kids want most are trapper keepers and spiral notebooks.

Why? The only reason I can think of is the fact that school supplies are expensive. It's something I have never had to think of in my life. If it was on the list needed for school, my parents bought it. Down to the hundred dollar calculator needed for calculus. (Thank you Mom and Dad for helping me pass my math and science classes...) School supplies were not ever something I had to worry about not having. Of course, there were limits. I may not have been able to get the Lisa Frank binder or expensive (and quite unnecessary) locker shelf that all my friends had, but I had everything I ever needed for school. These kids don't have that privilege. They have the basics. If even. Branches gave these kids their backpacks and school supplies at the beginning of the year. If that runs out, we will provide them with more. But, if Branches did not do that, they would not have these supplies and they would not be adequately prepared for school. Getting to "purchase" school supplies from the Branches Bucks Rewards Club is like Christmas for these kids. It is an incredibly humbling experience to see these kid's faces light up as they carry their new notebooks around.

Fridays are also extremely stressful because after a full afternoon of tutoring elementary kids, I want to go home. However, that is just the start of my day. From 7-10, the middle school and high school students come for youth group. It's a very high energy, fun, exciting night. And it requires a lot of stress and energy from the staff. But it is beyond worth it to see these kids, about 60-70 youth on a given night, crossing boundaries of race, culture, and class which they would never ever do anywhere else. The youth that come to Branches range from Latino to Cuban to Haitian to Jamaican and everything in between. Never in a million years would these different cultures mix as smoothly as they do at Branches. That is just one of the many cool things to witness on a Friday night. And just one of the many cool things that happen on a daily basis down in Florida City.

Where is God?

The other day at Bible study, we studied hell. Quite a daunting topic, I must say. I am in charge of writing all the Bible studies and it was a very hard one to wrap my head around. I have to be in the right mood to write a Bible study, and with everything that was going on in the outside world with my personal external forces, I couldn't center myself enough to focus on writing on this particular day. I finally ended up getting something down on paper and had my boss tweak it a bit for Tuesday night: Bible study night. I have to say, despite being a little nervous to see how they would respond, I don't think I was quite prepared for their reactions. They enjoyed this study. More than I have ever seen them enjoy anything at Branches. I teach the 8th and 9th grade girls and I have never heard so many questions fly out of their mouths at once.

My supervisor had told me to write on this topic because it's something they don't really know about. Their vision of hell comes from what their parents and friends have told them and what the media has sold them. They have never actually opened their Bibles as far back as Revelation. They found it fascinating. Which I, of course, was very pleased to see. However, their questions made it hard to actually get all the way through the Bible study (to the Good News!)

I have one girl who is a freshman in high school and comes to Branches everyday, but always with a terrible attitude and a scowl on her face. I actually do not like it when she shows up to Bible study and secretly hope that she doesn't walk in the door every Tuesday. But, every time, without fail, she walks through that door. (And my heart sinks just a bit knowing I will have to deal with her difficult attitude and mouthiness.) She always tells people she's not a Christian and she doesn't believe in God. But, she shows up to Branches everyday, including Bible study and church, and participates, and obviously enjoys herself (despite what her face and actions tell us) because she keeps coming back. Day after day after day. I think she kind of uses the fact that she is a newly deemed "atheist" (she just found out what that meant...) as a way of not taking responsibility for her actions. She knows that if she gets caught cheating or lying or if she goes out drinking or smoking with her friends that she won't have to answer to anyone, because she's "not a Christian." Regardless of the reasoning behind it, she asked some very insightful questions that night. She kept spitting out things like, "if God loves us so much, why does he let good people die so young?" And "how come there's a rapist running free, but an honest man dies of cancer?" Questions, mostly about God and His character that I honestly didn't have very good answers to. Finally, she said something that made me pause and realize I had no answer for her because I was in the same boat. She said, "I think I am going to consider myself and atheist until God speaks to me." (It sounded quite juvenile at first...) But then she kept going, "You know, cause all the time I pray to God for help and I cry out to Him and I ask Him to keep my family safe and nothing happens. The same bad stuff keeps happening and nothing that I do or say can fix it."

That statement hit me hard. So much so that I just kind of sat there staring at her. I finally managed to tell her that as cliche as it sounded, she needed to make an effort to get to know God in a different way. Prayer is good, but it can be helpful to open her Bible too. (She didn't like that answer.) But it actually helped me maybe a little more than it helped her because I realized I needed to take my own advice. I had been feeling the exact same thing that she had just put into words. I have been looking for God and not finding Him anywhere. As it says in Job, "But if I go to the east, He is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find Him. When He is at work in the north, I do not see Him; when He turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of Him."

I sat in on a rather impromptu church service this morning at a new church (seeing as how I am STILL shopping.) It was impromptu because the main pastor had been called to help out at Ft. Hood Saturday evening and someone had to fill in for her and completely change the service the night before. However, the man filling in did a great job. The title of this blog happened to be the title of his sermon. Where is God? In the midst of all of this hatred and grieving and destruction and death, where is He? In the back of my head every once in a while would pop up the old saying, "if you don't feel as close to God as you used to, guess who moved?" But I always dismissed this and continued on with my busy day. Burying God further and further beneath the work load and external forces of my life. This sermon today, along with the happenings at Bible study, made me realize. I have moved. I have shifted. Farther and farther away from God to a place where I no longer even recognized Him in my life. It was a tough realization; however, I now feel that I can slowly start rebuilding the relationships that I have lost and torn down over the past few years.

Sweet Little Lies

Sometimes lies are easier to swallow than the truth. Sometimes I like it when my youth say things like, "Nah, miss, I don't mess around with drugs." Or, "Alcohol's for losers!" Even though it is obvious they are just patronizing me, I secretly like to believe that they are not lying. I like to believe that we live in a society where alcohol and drugs are not readily available to eleven year olds.

A few days ago, I was assigned to work with a young sixth grader whose family comes from El Salvador. Most of the time, this boy is quite a pill and really hard to handle or get to know. But, every once in a while he'll do something or say something with a giant, flashy smile and you just want to jump up and give him the biggest hug! (But you DON'T, because you realize he will never talk to you again if you do it.) Usually Angelo, my co worker, is assigned to work with the bratty sixth grade boys while I get to work with the angelic seventh grade girls. However, on this particular day, none of my angels had any homework, and of course, all of the sixth grade boys did. So, this young man was assigned to my table for homework help. He sat down and I asked him what he had for homework today. He told me he had to write an essay that his teacher assigned him titled, "Why I Want to be a Better Person." (Whether or not this was a punishment assignment, I still do not know.)

Regardless, we start collaborating on this essay. And by collaborating, I mean that he would write a sentence and then look at me and say, "Right, miss?" I got sick of this method and told him I wasn't going to do his homework for him, but we could discuss what he was going to write about (make an outline...thank you forth grade teachers...) and then he would write it and I would edit it. He started telling me his three main points as to why he thinks it's important for him to become a better person. His second point stunned me. He wrote down that he needs to be a better person so that he can help other people be better too. I thought that this point was one, actually relevant to his topic unlike his other ideas, and two, profound. It's hard to find a middle school student these days who actually care about anyone other than themselves. But, the part that made me stop and turn my eyes to God thanking him for upbringing was that his reason for needing to help others be better is so they don't start doing the "bad things" that he does at such an early age. I, of course, asked him to elaborate and he said, well, it's not good for people to start drinking and smoking when I did. And I said, "Yes, that is very true, how old were you when you starting drinking and smoking?" He gave me his sheepish, mischievous grin and looked at the floor and mumbled "nine."

NINE. NINE? How did I not expect this? I knew this kind of abuse was prevalent in poorer communities and that kids these days had started substance abuse earlier and earlier, but NINE? I was trying to think of what I was doing at the age of nine. I was in 3rd grade. I was still playing with dolls and building forts. I didn't even know what drinking was. My mother had to explain what being drunk meant by using an episode of Full House. How does this happen?? I was so shocked, I didn't even know how to respond. I asked him if he still does those things and he says, "I try not to." I thought that was actually a pretty mature answer for him and we talked a little bit more about what those substances do to your body and what will happen in the future if he keeps using them. But the cancer tactic and the eventual break down of health doesn't always work on middle schoolers. Although the 'not being able to play soccer and football well' worked a little better. It's hard. Life is hard. This world is complicated and complex.