Home.

Last weekend I watched my roommate and various other friends participate in a half marathon. The whole time I was watching these people run by (getting rather nauseous trying to find Julie...) I was getting more and more pumped up about running. That high has lasted through this week and has reenergized me on my morning runs. Enabling me to run farther and feel better about my exercise routine. When I run I preform what is known as "the cardinal sin" of runners. I wear head phones. And listen to music. If you are a true race runner, you know this is usually not even allowed at a race because you cannot fully understand what all is going on around you. But, I have to have music to run. Only one of the reasons why I will probably never achieve my goal of marathon running. This morning I turned up the music. Loud enough so that I couldn't hear my thoughts or the cat calls of my latino neighbors but soft enough so I could still hear the passing traffic. (Safety first, that's what I've always said...)

But, this morning on my run, I heard a song I had never heard before. It's by someone who I was just recently introduced to, Marc Scibilia. If you have the chance I fully recommend his album "From Brooklyn to Maine." I have recently been expanding my music collection and opening my mind to new artists and songs. So, when this song first came on my mp3 player, I wasn't sure what it was, however the song, "This World Ain't My Home" totally spoke to me. My whole life I have felt restless. Not able to stay in one location for more than a few years and more recently, not feeling like I have a permanent home. Not necessarily longing for these things of permanency, but often times feeling anxious and in flux. Anxious about where I will be working or living next year. Anxious about what I want to do with my life. Anxious about the tensions in my life of wanting to feel "in the moment" and yet needing to look forward. I think this song says it all. For me, for my anxieties, for my current life of flux. And hopefully, for some of you as well:

"This World Ain't My Home"

by Marc Scibilia

"I've been to Paris, I've been to Rome.

I've seen a little bit of the world that's known,

but it seems no matter where I go,

I know this world, it ain't my home.

I've got keys to a house that's on loan,

I've got keys to a car with rust and chrome.

I've keys to things I'll never own,

'cause I know this world, it ain't my home.

You take me so very close,

but I can't cut down this thought that grows,

that no matter where I rest or roam,

I know this world, it ain't my home.

Sometimes it seems a far off dream,

just in sight but out of reach,

I don't know where to go but I just keep going,

'cause I know this world, it ain't my home.

And I used to treasure jewels like years,

'till these ancient words met my ears.

Now a ruby's just another stone,

'cause I know this world, it ain't my home.

And you take me so very close,

but I can't cut down this thought that grows,

that no matter where I rest or roam,

I know this world, it ain't my home.

Maybe I could try to fall in love again,

find a little house with a picket fence,

but you know, you know that I, I am a travelin' man,

to a distant country and a far off land.

And when my time is used and done,

when I see that final settin' sun,

I'll leave everything I've ever known,

And that house above, it will be my home."

Haiti

By now, I am sure everyone has heard the news about the terrible tragedy that has overcome Port-au-Prince, Haiti. This earthquake has shaken the lives of the people who live there as well as so much of Southern Florida. Miami and surrounding areas like Florida City are so deeply connected culturally to Haiti. Most of the children and youth I work with have relatives in Haiti. Many of them have at least one parent still in Haiti.

After high school tutoring was over last night, Tony and I were driving around in the van dropping all the youth off at their houses. Many of them made remarks like, "I don't want to go home." And while, often times, they make these remarks in a joking manner (mostly to annoy Tony and I so we have to kick them out of the van...), this time we knew it was true for every single one of them. One girl said she didn't want to go home because she just couldn't take the crying anymore. She said her mom hasn't stopped crying since the news hit Florida. The hardest part about all of this sadness is that no one knows anything. Haiti is in a complete and total state of shock. Rescue crews don't even know where to begin. No communication comes in or out of the country, and therefore, so many of our families are in a similar and constant state of shock. It is the unknown that haunts so many of our youth and families at this point.

My roommates and I sat around a few nights ago praying, talking, and attempting to make any sense of the tragedy. The thing that we have come to realize at this point is there's not a whole lot we can personally do other than give to organizations that CAN do something. Some of the churches around the area are collecting clothes and material things. Which is good, and I do not want to discourage anyone from doing so, however, what the Haitian people need right now is emergency supplies. They need food, water, and medical care. So, if you are like us and do not know where to begin, but want to donate to legitimate organization that you know will be doing good, here's a list of some of the organizations sent out via email by South Florida Urban Ministries. I know there are tons more as well, I was just hoping to give people a starting point.

United Way is newly partnered with South Florida Urban Ministries and Branches. We received an email yesterday with this link letting us know they are doing all they can to help those in Haiti as well as those in South Florida who have relatives in Haiti.

If you haven't heard, the U.S. Department of State has made a fund that you can drop money in via your cell phone. U.S. Secretary of State Hilary Clinton was quoted this morning as saying that this fund already has $3 million in it going to the Red Cross for Haitian relief aid. Just text "Haiti" to 90999 and a donation of $10 will be made and billed to your next cell phone bill.

Mercy Corps is currently accepting donations.

Partners in Health is already on the ground and running operations in Haiti.

Yèle Haiti was established by Wyclef Jean and is also already on the ground in Haiti. You can text donations to this organization as well by texting "yele" to 501501. This will donate $5 to the Haitian relief fund.

The Mennonite Central Committee has been in Haiti since 1958 and is currently planning efforts.

The United Methodist Committee on Relief also has a long history of working in Haiti and is now leading earthquake relief. You can donate to UMCOR and 100% of your donations go directly to helping the victims.

I also got word that the Presbyterian Disaster Assistance is setting up funds. You can donate to PDA by directing your money to account number DR000064 within the Presbyterian Church.

I hope that some of these links will help. I'm afraid, at this point, that all we can do is pray. Pray for the families affected so terribly. Pray for the Haitians. Pray for the Florida City Community. Pray for South Florida. Pray for the Haitian government.

Just keep those prayers coming in.

Miss Understood

These are a few conversations that I have had with my youth over the past few months. Unfortunately these are direct quotes. Enjoy reading what I get to listen to on a daily basis. Welcome to my life.

Marcknal: "Miss, why does your hair look like that?"

Me: "Like what?"

Marcknal: "Like, all....yellow."

Me: "I think I was born with 'yellow' hair."

Marcknal: "What? That's impossible. It looks fake."

Me: "Well, thank you. But, what color hair were you born with?"

Marcknal: "I wasn't born with hair!"

Jasmine: "Miss, do you have a man?"

Me: "No."

Jasmine: "Oh, that's because you're fat and ugly."

Me: "Thank you for your honesty. And for reinforcing my junior high insecurities."

Valerry: "Miss, what are you?"

Me: "What do you mean?"

Valerry: "Like, are you Haitian, Cuban, Salvadoran? What are you?"

Me: "I'm Texan."

Valerry: "GurlBeFo'Real."

Me: "I smell like a campfire!"

Yamilet: "Miss, that is NOT what you smell like."

Me: "Then what do I smell like?"

Yamilet: "Something BAD."

Tiger: "Miss, where you from?"

Me: "Texas."

Tiger: "What's that?"

Kevelyn: "Miss, aren't you from China? Do you eat pandas there?"

Me: "I don't know, I'm from Korea. We eat rice."

Kevelyn: "Ohhhh."

(And yes...I have given up on attempting to fight the fact that my kids think I look Chinese.)

Alait: "Miss, were you with your girlfriend on New Year's Eve?"

Me: "Yes, I was with my girlfriends on New Year's."

Alait: "WHAT?! You're a lesbian??"

Me: "What? No...you call your friends girlfriends."

Alait: "Who calls their friends girlfriends?"

Me: "Lots of people." (Thinking that I should insert "My grandmother, for example...")

Alait: "Like girls who date other girls?"

Me: "Nevermind."

Stephanie: "Miss, THAT'S your car?"

Me: "Yes. Do you like it?"

Stephanie: "No. Does it actually make it here from Miami??"

Me: "What?! It's a good car! And I'm standing here, aren't I? So I must have made it from Miami?"

Stephanie: "Is it going to make it back to Miami?"

Me: "I don't know..."

Brunia: "Miss, how many people do you live with?"

Me: "Four."

Brunia: "Oh. Five girls in a house must suck."

Me: "No, two of them are boys."

Brunia: "Isn't it a sin to live with a boy before you are married?"

Me: "Well, I'm not dating both of them!"

Brunia: "Oh, so which one ARE you dating?"


Mike: "Miss, you eas'in' me?!"
Me: "No..."
Mike: "Yes you is."
Me: "Yeah...I don't actually know what that means."

You truly have to admire kids. For their blunt honesty if nothing else...

New Year's Resolutions

So, on an earlier post, my mom said she thought my New Year's resolution should be to blog more. Well, because she told me to do it, I am going to do the exact opposite and make my New Year's resolution to blog LESS.

Not really. But sort of, in a way. The start of a new year means a fresh start, in a sense. I have never really been one for New Year's resolutions, mostly because I usually last approximately 2.5 days and then I give up. But, this year I have decided that I will have two New Year's resolutions. That are actually extremely contradictory, so we'll see how this goes. I have decided that what I need more than anything in this job and in this year is to be present. To be fully immersed in my job, to give it my all, to be there fully for these kids and this organization. These past few months I have been a bit distracted, to say the least. I have had too much on my mind to be fully present in Florida City. And that stops now. I am there for one year, to give my time, my energy, and my all to these children and youth. And that is what I am going to do in these next eight months.

The other half of the resolution is to reconnect the bonds that I have lost. This move has been a hard transition as has the graduation from college. I, up until this point, had not really figured out how to juggle my Texas life with my Florida life. I now have a lot more figured out and feel a lot more centered. I am ready to take on this challenge and promise those that have not heard from me in a while will be hearing from me soon. So look out!

On a sadder note, just as I have started to feel happy to be in Texas again, I have to fly back to Florida tomorrow. And what's worse is that my flight leaves at 10:45 AM, which means I will have to endure my black eyed peas for good luck in the New Year at about 8 AM, because, let's be honest, I'm not going to buy black eyed peas and eat them in Florida.

Christmas Time at Branches

Wow. People sure are generous during the holidays. I am luckily in a position where I get to see people's generosity for these kids and this organization year round, but Christmas time is truly an amazing site. And an interesting one.

We have a partnership with a church a little further north of Florida City. This church was one of the first supporters of Branches when it opened it's doors about 16 years ago. Since then, their support has never ceased and actually only grown throughout the years. Early in November, they asked us to hand out flyers to all of our children and youth, (well over 100 in numbers) asking the kids what their favorite candies were, what size clothes they wear, what they wanted for Christmas, and who was someone in their family that they wanted to give a gift to. Now, I thought these flyers were guidelines for the church to take back with them to give them some ideas for 'a' gift for each child. I was wrong. The things that these kids wrote down is exactly what they got. They each got pants, a shirt, lots of candy, whatever gift they wanted and gifts to give their family members. And these overambitious children did not write down small things that they wanted for Christmas. One girl is learning to play the guitar from our pastor, so the church bought her an acoustic guitar. Another girl got a digital camera. I was shocked to see the generosity of these congregation members.

But, the gifts don't stop there. A graphic design company that has connections to Branches also did the same things for our kids. As did numerous families and organizations in the community. I couldn't believe the amount of gifts these children received. I know they were thankful and I know that this generosity is welcomed, especially in this time of our poor economy. But, what I couldn't help wonder is what the parents thought of all of this. I know they were extremely overjoyed to see the joy on their children's faces, but at the same time, I think I would feel a little slighted. These parents are migrant farm workers, taxi cab drivers, fast food service employees, fruit stand workers, etc. And that's IF they are lucky enough to have a job. Some of our families have 10-12 children living in a house built for 4. I can't help but wonder if they feel upset knowing they can't give these kinds of gifts to their children. Or, maybe they feel the love and joy of the Christmas spirit knowing their children can be provided for. It is a fine line, in my mind, of being upstaged verses thankful. Regardless, there's not much that our organization can do except thank God for people like these congregation members, these organizations that want to give back, these families that want to share their wealth, and for anonymous donors who give solely because they are moved by the Christmas spirit. Because of these people, it is truly a happy, blessed, and merry Christmas for our families down in south Florida.