Lessons from a Tropical Storm

Wednesday morning, my coworker walked up to me and said, "What's our hurricane plan?" I looked at her and said, "Open all the doors and windows and yell, 'COME AND TAKE IT?'" She didn't find my humor very funny because it turns out it was a serious question. She then informed the rest of the staff that there was a tropical storm that could form into a hurricane by Friday. So, we decided to cancel all our programming on Friday for the tropical storm that was later named, "Bonnie."

Thursday afternoon was a whirlwind of stress. We had a mission team of about 30 helping out at Branches as well as a youth choir of 72 visiting. We had to water proof everything in case the ceiling leaked liked it did in the last big storm. Then, when we finally thought we had a second to relax, there was a roll-over car accident in our parking lot. (Thankfully no one was hurt...) Thursday was insane. To say the least.

However, Friday finally came around. I got to sleep in. It was possibly the most beautiful day of sleep I have ever been a part of. It was raining and windy and it didn't matter because I was safe and warm inside of my bed. I got some work done in the morning, and then spent the day lounging around. I was content. I was resting. I was relaxing from possibly the most stressful summer of my life. And then the phone rang. It was my boss. (Now, I should probably preface this next sentence by letting everyone know that "tropical storm" Bonnie was pretty lame. She had passed through South Florida by noon and left blue skies and sunshine.) My boss tells me that we are going to have our Friday night youth service and on top of that, we needed to meet early to put the outdoor shade tent back together, since we took it down for the storm. I am not sure I have ever wanted to do anything less in my entire life. I was so angry that my day of rest had been taken away from me that I was literally filled up with tears.

I showed up to work, we successfully put the tent back together, and the night was off and running. I was obviously upset about being at work in the first place, and still detoxing from a really tough week when one of my youth came up to me and hurt my feelings in a way that only she knew how to do. I was at the end of my rope. I was finally broken. I went into the bathroom and had a good cry. I was so angry about having to show up to work when I wasn't supposed to. I was so angry to get the chance at some rest and then to have it stolen away from me. Those feelings snowballed into thinking that my work in Florida City is useless and these kids don't appreciate the fact that I don't sleep because I am up doing work for them at all hours of the day and night. (I told you it was a bad week...)

I managed to pull myself together and continue on with the night. I prayed that God would show me why I was needed there. As always, God did answer my prayers. I realized, through the course of the night and through talking with different youth, how selfish I was acting. Yes, I was exhausted and yes, I'd had a bad week. But, that doesn't mean I have to take it out on my kids. God showed me that night just how much our kids need Branches. I was so excited to go through a tropical storm/hurricane in South Florida because I was told that people gather together and take time off work and hang out. That sounded like the greatest way to spend some quality time together. Well, after talking with our youth, I realized that's basically their nightmare. Being stuck inside their miniscule homes with close to twenty of their closest relatives who yell and are drunks and say harsh words to hurt them intentionally is possibly the worst scenario they can picture in their minds. By 3:00 pm, most of our youth were calling and texting and begging us to have Branches tonight, because, if nothing else, they would be able to go somewhere and get out of their houses.

That was a reality check. One I needed very badly. It turned out to be an amazing night. Full of passion, worship, good music, and a really great and intense game of volleyball. It was definitely what we all needed.

Somebody Loved.

It never ceases to amaze me how things can change and have different meanings based on the context of my life. For so long in my life I have searched for acceptance and love in other people. In middle school I remember how badly I wanted to fit in with the "cool" group of girls. So badly in fact, that I changed who I was, what music I listened to, and how I acted towards others. I lost a lot of friends and was so mean to so many people trying to find acceptance in a group that I thought I needed to be a part of. Throughout high school and college I tried to "find myself" and often would do anything to seek the love and acceptance of anyone. I hurt a lot of people in those ways as well. The past few years, I have tried to find acceptance in romantic relationships. Yet another place where where affirmation did not ensue and heartache instead took over. It has only been through the course of this year and this journey where I have realized that the only place we can go, and really the only place we NEED to go is to God. Going to God is the only place where full love and acceptance and affirmation will occur. Last night in our Bible study with the youth, we talked about the idea that God is always with us and we read Psalm 118, part of which says, "It is better to go to the Lord for safety than to trust in mere men." On the way home from work this evening I happened to pop in a CD that was made for me by a previous boyfriend. On it there was a song called "Somebody Loved." At the time, during the relationship, I thought it was a great song because it was an affirmation of the feelings that I was feeling and searching for in "mere men." Tonight, I realized what the Psalmist was actually trying to write on my heart. We do not need to continuously search for those feelings from mere men because God gives us all the love and affirmation we will ever need. This song has taken on new meaning in my life truly knowing that I am "Somebody Loved."

Somebody Loved

by The Weepies

Rain turns the sand into mud.

Wind turns the trees into bone.

Stars turning high up above.

You turn me into somebody loved.

Nights when the heat had gone out,

We danced together alone.

Cold turned our breath into clouds.

We never said what we were dreaming of,

But you turned me into somebody loved.

Someday when we're old and worn,

Like two softened shoes.

I will wonder on how I was born

The night I first ran away from you.

Now my feet turn the corner back home

Sun turns the evening to rose

Stars turning high above

You turn me into somebody loved.

Building Up Branches

I was tired of looking at the photograph of the burning building when I opened my blog. Therefore, I think I need to upload the video that I created for the rebuilding campaign "Building Up Branches." Enjoy.

Beauty For Ashes

Early last Sunday morning, around 1 am, The Branches United Methodist Church sanctuary and brand new playground was burnt down. As you can probably imagine, life around here is now chaos. As it was, we did not have enough space to house all the activities we had going on at the church and community center. We utilized our outside space to the max, so when it rained we had a hard time housing all the children and youth that we serve. Now, as you can imagine, it has turned into a daily scramble trying to find places to continue our programming and serve all the people in the community that we can.

Sunday morning, we had an incredible church service outside. We all slathered on sunscreen and sang and praised God and did a lot of crying. However, the overall tone of the service was positive. The words of our pastor, Audrey Warren, "God is bigger!" rang through the

neighborhood as news crews, neighbors, and church members sat on blankets and folding

chairs. The church has received a lot of publicity for all that is going on. Since the investigation has ruled out everything but arson, news stations have been eating our story up, twisting it from every angle: from the issue of gangs, to a sorrowful story of hatred, to a positive story of hope. Because of this, programming at work this week has been difficult. So many people in the community have dropped by to bring money, food, clothes, even furniture. We don't have room for the items being donated, but they all just keep coming! News stations are swarming the area trying to interview children and youth and people are always walking around taking pictures, or trying to find out more information. If nothing else, it shows us as an organization, the true impact that we have on the community. People keep driving by saying, "My sister-in-law's uncle's cousin went to Branches six years ago and we just had to come see the sad news for ourselves!" This organization truly has a community full of supporters, despite the bad that we have seen this week, the light shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot overcome it.

The support that Branches has received has been incredible to witness. To add insult to injury, all of our laptop computers were stolen during the chaos of trying to have church outside on

Sunday and make a plan to rebuild the buildings. Of course, a news crew jumped all over the story immediate

ly, sewing a story of deep sorrow and how "our faith is being tested." However, this news story reached all over the greater Miami area and because of this, seven new laptops have been donated to Branches. People that don't have any connection to Branches at all have been calling from all over the state saying, "I heard about the story on the news, what can I do?"

Our community has shown us what it means to be supported in a time of need. A young woman who doesn't even have enough money to feed her family stopped by and handed Audrey an

envelope of cash, telling her that when she earned more, she would give it to the church. One of our student's friends gave him a dollar and told him to give it to the church to help it be rebuilt. In the past three days alone, there have been countless more stories of generosity and charity. We have been wrapped in the love and support of community members as well as the greater church. Wealthier churches in north Miami have donated things like temporary playgrounds, laptops, tents, sunshades, fans, and lots of snacks and food for our kids. There are no words to describe the work of God that we are witnessing unfold right before our eyes. God is making the words of our pastor ring true each and every day, "God is bigger than all of this."

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back

It seems to me that life goes in cycles. You have the cycles of the seasons, the cycles of the school year, and the cycles of life and death which are occurring world wide daily. My faith, for sure, goes in cycles - cycles of getting close to God and feeling as though there is nothing that can separate me from His love to cycles of feeling further and further away because I am so grounded in this world and in worldly matters. My youth at work seem to go through cycles as well. They are currently in one of two different cycles. Half of my youth have passed their FCAT (Florida's standardized test), they have been keeping up with their school work all year long and are sitting back and enjoying the fact that the teachers are easing off of them towards the end of the school year. The other half of my youth are freaking out. They have been relaxing most of the year, their grades have dropped drastically, and they are trying to frantically get their work done, do their makeup work, and redo some of their work because of their failing grades - all while the idea of 'repeating this grade' is breathing heavily down their necks.

We have eased off some of our kids during this time - letting them do Sudoku puzzles to work on logic instead of drilling them on their multiplication and division tables. However, we have really done this so that we can focus our whole attention on these kids who are frantically trying not repeat their grade level. I have one girl, a middle school girl, who is actually in the 5th grade. Her younger sister is in a grade higher than her because she failed and her sister didn't. A woman I work with fully sponsored this young girl to go to a Christian school down the street from Branches because there, 5th grade is considered "middle school." Therefore, because of my coworker, she can come to all youth events for Branches and not be considered in a lower grade than her younger sister. The problem is, the scholarship money never came through for this young girl to go to school, so the payments that my coworker was making was not fully footing the bill of her education. The school tried and tried to contact this girl's parents, however, they never called the school back. Rather than kicking her out of school, they let her continue, except the teacher stopped grading her work (which are individualized books that they have to complete a certain number of in order to pass that grade level.) The teacher never told this girl what was going on, so she spent the majority of the school year not doing any work because the teacher would not issue her new books or let her continue with her work. Finally, my coworker called the school and heard the entire problem. (She was obviously pretty upset.) She is now covering the entire bill of my youth's schooling so that she can finish out the year. We placed this young girl in that school because it was going to allow her to catch up in her school work and hopefully fill the gaps in her education and allow her to move on into middle school. However, now she is about a semester's worth of work behind and if she even wants to pass the 5th grade (again) she has to basically work night and day on her school work.

This is unfortunately an issue for a lot of our youth. In the case of this young girl, it wasn't entirely her fault. However, some of our youth are just too lazy to take responsibility for their actions and do their own work. In Florida, public school do not get out until the middle of June. These kids literally have a little less than three weeks to finish a semester's worth of work. It's so hard to see this issue and wonder if there was something you could have done to change this outcome. I cannot physically make the students do their homework or study. But, at the same time, it's so tough to see these kids fail when you have been helping them all year long.