Maggie

Maggie is our neighbor. Although, I still have no idea where she actually lives. Regardless of the fact that she describes her house to me everyday, "It's the pink house with the hurricane shutters." I nod and smile, while in reality, I am thinking, "You just described every house within the next eight blocks!" She is an older woman, maybe in her sixties, and everyday I have seen her (which is everyday I have lived in Miami) she has been wearing the same clothes. She stops by our house every evening and asks to use our phone. We kindly smile and let her in, let her use the phone, give her water and a place to sit. And a place to vent, apparently. Maggie is a woman of many words. There is always something interesting going on in her life and she is not one to hold back any emotions or stories or excuses.

We enjoy our chats with Maggie. However, what started out as a friendly neighborly gesture has turned into something more. Because she knows she can trust us and because we "are so nice and friendly," she keeps coming over. Sometimes only for a few minutes, sometimes for hours. It's hard and uncomfortable for us to ask her to leave because we have this desire to be hospitable to everyone who enters "the mission house," as it is known and commonly called. It's part of the reason we live in the neighborhood that we do. We throw neighborhood barbeques and block parties as a way to get to know our neighbors and as a way to be fully present in the community.

Maggie has recently told us she is moving, and therefore packing up most of her belongings. Everyday she will stop by with something else of hers that she thinks we will want. And while this seems like a very neighborly gesture, she doesn't actually want to give us these items...she wants to sell them to us. So, we bought her DVD player for $20 a few days ago. Then, the next day, when she tried to sell Isaac her husband's wool suits, we had to tell her no, because, big surprise, they didn't fit the 6'7'' lanky, white boy. Plus, wool suits in Florida?! But, we quickly learned that these gestures were more about just getting rid of her stuff. She actually needs the money, considering she said, "Oh, sorry the suits don't fit, can I have $20 anyways? My husband's sick." And the next day when she came over she needed a ride to her new house to talk to the landlord and then asked for more money. The entire house is very torn about what to do about Maggie. We obviously value her presence, but now we get worried when we see her come up to the front door or when we hear her knock because we are unsure of how to approach the money situation. On the one hand, here is someone who is obvious need. On the other hand, we are not making enough money to be giving her $20 everyday. However, it is our responsibility to take care of our neighbors and be kind and generous. On the other hand, she is taking advantage of the fact that five young, caring people live down the street and don't have the heart to say no. Jesus calls us to love our neighbors and help in every way possible. Maggie's background is a very complex and complicated one. She is a person that needs all the love and support and help she can get. However, monetary services are not ways in which we are strongest right now. On the other hand, we are all white, educated, middle income kids from "the center" who theoretically could have alot to offer and share with Maggie.

It is a never ending circle of confusion and prayer and questions. What do we do in a world full of Maggies??

Settled

I feel as though up until this point I have been in one of those stupid snow globes; flying around like a snow flake, being tossed about in some fluid and landing wherever I can find a place to stop for a few seconds and breathe. However, after being in New York for exactly a day and half, I feel settled. That seems to be the comments of most fellow YAVers here. This evening in vespers, we all expressed sentiments of feeling anxious, excited, and just plain confused. However, we also all expressed that this retreat has given us time to feel centered and to realize what it is we are all about to embark upon in this coming year. It doesn't matter that we aren't all going to the same location. In fact, there is only one other person here going to Miami. What matters is that we all have a similar mindset and that we are all going out to have the same purpose for a year. We are bonded by our displacement. And I couldn't feel more grounded than I do right now. This retreat has only reinforced that I am in the right place at the right time and that big things are happening. I love the fact that everyone here is outgoing and energetic and so happy to be in the place where they are. It is like being in a place where everyone is different and unique and yet everyone is the same. I absolutely love that I can walk up and sit down next to anyone and say "hi, my name is..." and be received on the other end with the biggest smile and then talk for hours about our hopes and fears when I only just met the person. This is the best community that I have ever been a part of and feel so lucky to be right where I need to be.

SFLUM

Yes, it looks like gibberish. And when spoken aloud, I often feel the need to say "Gesundheit." However, SFLUM is the organization overseeing my site placement for the up coming year. It is an acronym for South Florida Urban Ministries. Branches, my new job placement, is part of SFLUM. There are quite a few Branches sites in Miami and I have been assigned to the Branches ministry in Florida City, a small community about 45 minutes south of Miami. I have been at training for the last week now in Miami and Florida City. It was an unexpected visit to Miami, and I was frustrated by the lack of notice and by having to fly to Florida the day after I returned home from family vacation. However, it was a blessing in disguise; as I am quickly figuring out, most of these inconveniences are. I was able to get a feel for the area, see where I am working, meet a majority of the children I will be seeing on a daily basis, meet my co-workers, and sit down and figure out my job description. Essentially, I was able to get my questions answered and my fears quelled, for the time being. I will be working mostly with the youth of Branches, which is in connection with a Methodist Church in Florida City. I will be tutoring middle school and high school students and building relationships and community with these youth for the next year. My hours will be odd, there will be a long commute some days, and I have been told not to get upset if the youth don't want to talk to me for weeks. And I couldn't be more excited about the entire process!!! I know that the year, maybe years, ahead will bring challenges beyond my control and beyond my realm of knowledge. I know I will be tried and tried again. And I know I will grow and be shaped and molded into the person I am supposed to be.

Consider the Lilies.

25 "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

28"So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;

29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

This passage was read in church on Sunday. We had a guest preacher in the pulpit, and once he was finished reading this passage I literally sat back and thought, "this is the reason why I came to church."

Summer camp has been an incredible breath of fresh air in my life. I have seriously loved every second of it and could not have imagined my summer going any differently. However, in the back of my mind, I have not been able to shake the thoughts that I still have to raise almost $7,000 and that has proven to be more complicated and trying than I originally thought it would be.

This passage truly spoke to me. I have the worst tendency to freak out about the tiniest things. I am way too rational to think that God will provide every need in my life. However, it is times like this when I am thankful for the tiny ways that God gets my attention and lets me know that "every little thing is gonna be alright."

Monetary Update!

As of today, I found out I have raised $2,450 so far. I am so thankful for people giving me such large donations and cannot find enough words to say thank you for your generosity.

That being said....

I still have to raise about $4,500 more. Which is so scary to think about. I would really appreciate it if you spread the word about the cause and kept the donations flowing. This is obviously a fantastic cause, but getting all this money is quite a daunting task!

Thanks to everyone for their support and love.