Don't bring me bad news.

There are days, like yesterday, when I go to work and realize I am truly there for a purpose. Then, there are days like today where I sit back and think "Why am I here?" "Am I even making a difference?" I, already within a week, have formed such strong bonds with each and every youth member at Branches. I have heard many of their personal stories and backgrounds and have become invested in this community and in these kids. So, when one of them makes poor choices, it disappoints me.

I had to kick a kid out of tutoring today. Actually, I gave him the choice of staying at Branches and actually doing work or leaving. He chose to leave. He chose to leave the support system we have set up to better his life and future. This student, who we will call JJ, (because I think it's funny to give out fake names that happen to be the real names of my roommates...) is in the seventh grade. He also happens to be fifteen. Almost legal to drive and still in middle school. He was also the first person at Branches to know my name, take an interest in me, and actually greet me with a smile each and everyday. Which made his decision making process all the more disappointing and hard to take.

My supervisor Tony had already talked to him twice today before he was assigned to my tutoring table. He spent the entire time testing the boundaries and while I attempted to be nice, he was disruptive and disrespectful to all. He told me he didn't have any homework and when I asked why not he told me it was because he had skipped school. In fact, in the two weeks that he has been back in school, he has already missed four days. I think the most heartbreaking part of it all was to see how bright he was. JJ knows math like no one else that I have seen at Branches. While I have spent the past two weeks teaching students his age and older long division on paper, JJ can do any of the problems in his head. He enjoys reading when he can force himself to be still enough to focus and he is very good at history as well. So, why is it that he is two to three grade levels behind?

After JJ left Branches I saw him walking with two other boys who do not attend Branches. Instead, these boys stand across the road and cat-call the girls as they walk in and out throughout the afternoon. The girls all have stories to tell about these boys and how they are not the type of boys you want to hang out with. So, why, would someone as bright as JJ choose these hooligans over his Branches family? Why would he willing throw his future away because he is behind in school?

I hate seeing people make bad decisions. It's often like watching a train wreck. I just can't take my eyes off of it and yet I don't want to look. My boss Kim seemed unfazed by the situation. She looked at me sincerely and said, "kids make bad choices." Kim started the Branches program fifteen years ago when she was my age. She has probably witnessed more in this time than most people want to see in a lifetime. She realizes that we can't reach them all. She realizes the depressing, heartbreaking, honest truth. Branches is an incredible organization. However, kids make bad choices. And I wish it were as simple as that...