Settled

I feel as though up until this point I have been in one of those stupid snow globes; flying around like a snow flake, being tossed about in some fluid and landing wherever I can find a place to stop for a few seconds and breathe. However, after being in New York for exactly a day and half, I feel settled. That seems to be the comments of most fellow YAVers here. This evening in vespers, we all expressed sentiments of feeling anxious, excited, and just plain confused. However, we also all expressed that this retreat has given us time to feel centered and to realize what it is we are all about to embark upon in this coming year. It doesn't matter that we aren't all going to the same location. In fact, there is only one other person here going to Miami. What matters is that we all have a similar mindset and that we are all going out to have the same purpose for a year. We are bonded by our displacement. And I couldn't feel more grounded than I do right now. This retreat has only reinforced that I am in the right place at the right time and that big things are happening. I love the fact that everyone here is outgoing and energetic and so happy to be in the place where they are. It is like being in a place where everyone is different and unique and yet everyone is the same. I absolutely love that I can walk up and sit down next to anyone and say "hi, my name is..." and be received on the other end with the biggest smile and then talk for hours about our hopes and fears when I only just met the person. This is the best community that I have ever been a part of and feel so lucky to be right where I need to be.

SFLUM

Yes, it looks like gibberish. And when spoken aloud, I often feel the need to say "Gesundheit." However, SFLUM is the organization overseeing my site placement for the up coming year. It is an acronym for South Florida Urban Ministries. Branches, my new job placement, is part of SFLUM. There are quite a few Branches sites in Miami and I have been assigned to the Branches ministry in Florida City, a small community about 45 minutes south of Miami. I have been at training for the last week now in Miami and Florida City. It was an unexpected visit to Miami, and I was frustrated by the lack of notice and by having to fly to Florida the day after I returned home from family vacation. However, it was a blessing in disguise; as I am quickly figuring out, most of these inconveniences are. I was able to get a feel for the area, see where I am working, meet a majority of the children I will be seeing on a daily basis, meet my co-workers, and sit down and figure out my job description. Essentially, I was able to get my questions answered and my fears quelled, for the time being. I will be working mostly with the youth of Branches, which is in connection with a Methodist Church in Florida City. I will be tutoring middle school and high school students and building relationships and community with these youth for the next year. My hours will be odd, there will be a long commute some days, and I have been told not to get upset if the youth don't want to talk to me for weeks. And I couldn't be more excited about the entire process!!! I know that the year, maybe years, ahead will bring challenges beyond my control and beyond my realm of knowledge. I know I will be tried and tried again. And I know I will grow and be shaped and molded into the person I am supposed to be.

Consider the Lilies.

25 "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

28"So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;

29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

This passage was read in church on Sunday. We had a guest preacher in the pulpit, and once he was finished reading this passage I literally sat back and thought, "this is the reason why I came to church."

Summer camp has been an incredible breath of fresh air in my life. I have seriously loved every second of it and could not have imagined my summer going any differently. However, in the back of my mind, I have not been able to shake the thoughts that I still have to raise almost $7,000 and that has proven to be more complicated and trying than I originally thought it would be.

This passage truly spoke to me. I have the worst tendency to freak out about the tiniest things. I am way too rational to think that God will provide every need in my life. However, it is times like this when I am thankful for the tiny ways that God gets my attention and lets me know that "every little thing is gonna be alright."